3-D can go die

While on Facebook today, I saw a post from Titanic (yes, I did “like” the movie) that the movie was going to be released again April 6, 2012. OMG yes! I was going to see my all-time fave movie in theaters! My life is soon to be complete, right?

Nope. This time, it has been decided that Titanic is going to be launched in freaking 3-D. What the hell! This movie won 11 Academy Awards including Best Picture and Best Director. It is a complete disservice to the entire legacy of the movie to put it into 3-D.

Now imagine what this movie would look like in 3-D. Stupid, that’s what. I can’t think of any scene, and I’ve seen this movie at least 25 times, where 3-D would be a good idea. Titanic isn’t an action movie, so don’t try to make it one. And 20 bucks says that the 3-D will be added in to when Cal points his gun and shoots at Rose and Jack. Oooh, scary! Or when Rose’s (or Jacks; I’ve never been able to figure out whose it is) hand shoots up during the scandy sex scene. That would just be awkwardly gross.

There is no need for 3-D at all in this movie. Period.

Speaking of which, there is no need for 3-D in ANY movie! I hate how every new movie coming out is offered in 3-D. Harry Potter, Captain America, Green Lantern, Thor, Kung Fu Panda, Cars, and yadi yadi yadi are all examples of summer movies with the 3-D option. First off, I personally don’t want to pay more for “special” 3-D. A movie ticket is already $11.50! And you have to wear glasses! What about the people who already wear glasses? They have to wear glasses on top of their own glasses! I can surely imagine that their ears are all itchy after having double glasses temples on their ears. At least the new glasses aren’t those rinky-dink red and blue paper lenses that once gave me a paper cut.

3-D even comes with a warning of nausea, confusion, temper tantrums, and it’s even bad for your eyes. The world honestly doesn’t need more vomit catalysts. Rebecca Black is enough. Really.

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