Monthly Archives: December 2011

‘Twas the night before 2012…

Hopefully, my new year will be like this. (

And so my friends another year has come to an end. This means that Facebook has exploded with people’s New Year’s Resolutions. As for me, I’ll make a resolution but never actually follow through with it. Nonetheless, I’ve made a resolution this second to blog more. I wonder where the inspiration came from…

Realistically, I know for a fact that 99.9% of these “resolutions” will be abandoned within a month. So instead of making a new year’s goal, I’m just going to focus on what will actually happen this year. You know, the stuff that doesn’t depend on my will power or initiative.

This year is jam packed with milestones and memorable moments to be–some fun, some not so fun. Here is a look at my 2012.

1. Jaw Surgery, 1/26
This is one that will go under the “not so fun” category. Yes, I will be having corrective jaw surgery in which my upper and lower jaw will be broken and shifted. Ouch. Really the only good things that will come from this is that I get to miss two weeks of school (Hallelujah!),  talk lisp-free, and have a more aesthetically-pleasing profile. The bad part about this is that I’m going to have to learn AP Lit on my own, drink through a syringe, and look like the Elephant Man with Angelina-sized lips.

2. Graduation, 6/14
I’ve seriously been waiting to walk down that grass aisle since the day I wore my plaid skirt and toted my princess lunchbox to kindergarten. Being in a structured learning environment for 12 years does a lot to you. I’ve had ups, downs, and everything in between and it’s all going to end pretty soon. A part of me is like “Hell yeah, get me out of here!”, but then another part is like “Crap, this is going to be the last time I’m with all these peope at one time”. I frequently go back and forth between the two sentiments. But I cannot wait to celebrate this milestone with everyone who has made it possible.

3. College, sometime in the fall
Where ever I end up, I know it will be a good place for me. I really cannot wait to just meet new people and put so many new expieriences in my expierience basket. It’s going to be so awesome being on my own. This is my first step into the adult world and I’m excited to see what lies ahead. All while getting a solid education, of course.

4. 2012 Movies, the whole year
Emmie better buy plenty of those Costco tickets, because I will basically be living at the movie theater. So many good movies are coming out this year. There’s going to be a lot of superhero movies like with The Avengers, the Spider-Man prequel, The Dark Knight Rises. It’s been a while since I’ve heard Christian Bale’s hot, sexy Batman voice. And some book adaptations like Hunger Games and the highly anticipated (for others, not me) Breaking Dawn Part II. And I cannot forget the re-release of Titanic! Midnight premiere here I come! Another midnight premiere that I absolutely can’t miss is The Hobbit. Jeezo-peezo! I’m looking forward to that so much! And The Great Gatsby! I love me some Leo! 2012 is going to be sizzling! Im excited! This is probably the most exclamation points I’ve ever used in a paragraph!

5. The End of the World, 12/21
This is utter rubbish, but for those lunatics that think the world is going to end, I guess this is a major event. I’m including it because of all the hype surrounding it and the fact that I’m going to wake up on the 21st and be all like “What now?” People, the world is not going to end. So stop freaking out and selling your life on eBay. You will live to celebrate Christmas this year.

I’m not very superstitious, but I do have a special knack for the number 12. It’s my “lucky number”, so hopefully 2012 will bring out all the goods and shenanigans I’m hoping for. Prospectively, this year is looking pretty good, except for the surgery and all. Cheers to the New Year! 2012, here I come!


You Have to Spend Money in Order to Spend Even More Money

I know for a fact that you seniors are pulling your hair out over college applications. You are stressing about the obviously superfluous fluff in your essay. You are stressing because your counselor has still not sent in required forms to your schools. You are stressing about which extracirruclar has more meaning to an admissions counselor.

Well, here is something else to stress about: fees. Think about it. For my personal college expenses, I’m positive that I’ve spent about $750. So let’s add it up.

Alright, first up is the application fees. I’m applying to eleven schools. Emory University and Mizzou are $50. Cal Poly SLO and Cal State Long Beach are $55. UC Davis is $60. Northwestern University, USC, and American University are $65. Syracuse University and Northeastern University are $70. And last but not least is Boston University at the highest of my list with a price tag of $75. Just right here that is $680!

Next are the costs of sending my SAT scores. Since I got to send my scores to four schools for free (bless you CollegeBoard, really, bless you), I only had to pay for seven schools. The cost for sending all SAT scores and AP scores is $10. It was a total cost of $70. I’m exactly at $750.

And I cannot neglect the community college transcripts, no siree! Those costs $3 to send to universities. But since UC’s and Cal States don’t want transcripts, I only had to send out eight transcripts. Add in another $24. Oh boy, my estimation was almost perfect.

My grand total is $774! And I’m not even paying tuition yet! This is absolutely insane! I could go into how CollegeBoard is a complete scam for money, but that’s a blog for another day.

Of course, there are the “fee waivers”. But let’s get real: we all know that the middle class does not qualify for financial waivers. At all. And my family is not uber rich to the point where we can be casual about $774.

So who ends up paying this lump sum? Not me, thank God. The burden lies with my lovely parents Emmie and Chris. Aw, how much I love them! I know that paying that much is not convenient, and comes at the price of eating bologna skins and eggshells for dinner sometimes. Thanks Mom and Dad for your support!

So all you cracked out stressed seniors should stop for a moment and give your Emmie and Chris a genuine thanks. And politely remind them that they will soon be dropping a “couple” more G’s.

$#*! My Dad (and I) Says

In light of recent events, a Colvin House Swear Jar has been established. Yet, the only Colvins being taunted with this negative incentative are me–for obvious reasons–and my dad. At first, it was more for me, but then I guess my dad felt bad and didn’t want me to suffer by myself.

Mom set up the rules:
1. Each time a potty-word “slips out”, ten cents are put into the Jar
2. That especially bad word (flying…) costs double
3. The monitors are everyone except my dad and me
4. Sign language counts as well (thanks for teaching me some ASL Kiefer)

So far, I think I owe $.70, which really isn’t that bad considering that it’s been just two days. Either I’m really good at catching myself or I’m very sneaky and quiet. I think it’s a little bit of both. But everyone is convinced that I will be broke soon and I will have to start carrying around rolls of dimes. Let’s see about that!

And there could possibly be corruption within this system. By naming Jenna a monitor of my language, she could potentially wrongly accuse me of cursing out of spite. After all, she is my little bratty sister with intentions to make my life miserable and enjoying every step of it. And also, does it count if I stub my toe? Naturally, a “bad” word will come out. That’s just the way people react to sudden, earth-shattering pain.

But this is all for a good cause. We established that whomever wins, gets the prize of selecting a charity or organization to donate the money. When I win, I’m going to donate the money to Beckman’s Mock Trial fund. That way, parking fees don’t have to be paid for and they can actually get T-shirts next year. To achieve that, I will make my dad really mad, thus forcing him to deposit mula into the Jar.

But in all seriousness, I do see what my parents are trying to achieve by threatening my wealth. Choice words are not always appreciated by some and they can determine one’s opinion of me. At first, I was completely reluctant to agree to see it from their perspective. But now, not only do I understand, I will comply with what they are asking. I will never know if someone is turned off by a colorful language so it’s important to gague how others will react to it. I know everyone curses, but I guess I’m just not in the enviornment where it is accepted by all.

So for now, the objective is to tone it down a little. But don’t be surprised if I ask you for some change.

Clearly there are some things wrong with this picture. First, I know for a fact that Dad owes more than 0. Second, the Colvin House Swear Jar isn't even a jar.