Author Archives: miacolvin

Superficially motivated, but I’m feeling groovy

Applying for my first set of internships has gone from completely intangible to so close to my face that I’m cross-eyed. One of them focuses on social media and seeing that I spend too much time searching for random hashtags and incognitos, this internship seems to have fallen from social media god’s skies.

In my first ever cover letter (gasp!), I mention this blog. Well that awkward moment when I realized that I haven’t updated it in a while. No, obviously I’m not dead; just forgot how much I love to write and be a silly goose. I came back to look at what needed to be updated (turns out a lot) and I read some of these old articles. And weirdly, I still get random hits from random people. To random people: THANK YOU! I’ll try to entertain you some more. To my family/ friends/ stalkers: I doubt you even check this anymore.

Regardless, I love to write. I love to obsessively check my stats. I love this. I’m feeling invigorated to dedicate more time to my personal blog. I’m ready to begin Phase Two of! Stick with me and I’ll stick with this.



Don’t Mess with my Movies

First off, I would just like to say that my thoughts are with the victims and their families during this heart wrenching period. This unexpected tragedy will not easily be forgotten.

James Holmes, the alleged shooter, managed to take a fat dump on America’s joy of going to the movies. Like the rest of the nation, I regularly go to the movies to see the latest on the big screen. But what Holmes has done will forever change the way Americans enjoy their movies. Remember the Columbine shooting (which freakishly happened less than 20 miles away from today’s massacre)? The aftermath saw an increase in schools’ security systems, additional guidance counselors trained to spot behavioral problems, and a nationwide spotlight on bullying. Remember 9/11? Now it’s simply impossible to get through airport security with anything on you. They can practically see you naked.

The Aurora, Colorado theater shooting will rank among these events as it will change the way we as a nation attend the movie theater. In light of the shooting, AMC Theaters announced that it will no longer permit attendees to wear costumes, masks or face paint into the theaters. Holmes was wearing all black–easily assumed to just be a Batman-themed costume. What can we expect next? Metal detectors before getting our tickets ripped? Bags looked through by security guards? A well-lit auditorium?

I anticipate that these probable changes will be received badly by the public. It just makes me uncomfortable to know that the victims couldn’t even watch a movie in peace. Is there no safe place anymore? Really, this could have happened anywhere, to anyone, but just the fact that it actually did happen sickens me.

But this should not prevent any of us from enjoying our weekends. The movies are an integral part of American culture and should not be avoided because of a psychotic loser. I, for one, will go see The Dark Knight Rises in theaters tomorrow with my homies. Not going to the movie just gives in to the terrorism Holmes was trying to accomplish.

I agree with what President Obama said in his public address. Today is not the day to talk about the politics of the shooting. What today is about is coming together as Americans and hugging our loved ones just a little tighter tonight.

On a side note, the police have detained Holmes, who was a neuroscience graduate student at the University of Colorado. The police have not released the alleged shooter’s motive. They are still trying to disable a bomb that has been wired as a booby-trap in Holmes’ apartment. As of late, there have been 12 victims.

The good, the bad, and the absolute ugly of required reading

One of the reasons why I love English is that I am fortunate enough to be exposed to all sorts of types of books. Since the summer before my freshman year until now, it would be safe to say that I’ve been required to read about 25 books. Some of them I absolutely loved and some I didn’t even read at all. But through it all, I’ve come to realize what kinds of books I like: romantic, a change in the main character, thought-provoking, applicable to my life.

So I’ve gathered a list of the good (ones I would read over and over), the bad (the ones I got through with some cookie incentives), and the ugly (ones that were too miserable to even pick up).

1. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
I’ve read the love story of the Bennet sisters so many times, I literally think it’s the book version of my obsession with Titanic. What makes this book the best is the fact that Elizabeth is a revolutionary character. In Austen’s era, woman like Eliza were considered obnoxious and unbecoming. Her defiance of societal norms is admirable because it proves how independent and confident she is. I’m disappointed that there are too many Lydia Bennets in this world. So come on ladies, your looks and flirtatiousness won’t take you very far. Eliza teaches us that there needs to be internal depth and substance. Without it, there is no long-term happiness.

2. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
I had to read this book twice, once during sophomore year, and again this year. I had the same reaction both times: it was a heart-tugger. I think what really gets me is the fact that Hassan was so loyal to Amir, even when he was being used as a scapegoat. He was loyal to him and always thought of Amir’s happiness before his own. And when it was Amir’s chance to return the favor, he doesn’t. As a consequence, Hassan is emotionally damaged. Amir betrayed a friendship and cowered away from a friendship. All of the twists in the novel make it even more upsetting. But what I really got out of this novel was that there is always “a way to be good again”. All you have to do is just put forth an effort and really want it.

3. Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
This one really resonated with me because of the whole message of maturity. In high school, we all have our moments where we, like Holden Caulfield, make up excuses, feel alienated, and try to escape reality. Believe me, I’ve been there. But you have to get off that carousel of childhood at some point. Holden eventually does, but has anyone else? I could really relate to Holden at some points, but then at other points I wanted to throw a brick at him. So in a way, I have one foot on and one off the carousel. But I think for the most part, I’m off that carousel. It’s those life experiences that take you out of innocence and into reality. Holden’s journey is totally relatable because it chronicles the transition from innocence to maturity.

1. The Awakening, Kate Chopin
If you like books about cheating wives, then go ahead and read this one. I strongly dislike Edna Pontellier and what she stands for. Edna is trapped in a loveless marriage and is undergoing her own “awakening” by realizing that she is more than a wife. Well, bad timing woman! Edna has children–responsibilities that are irreversible. She can’t just have a kids and decide not to emotionally be there. It’s immature and unfair to the children. I don’t care if you have your little rendezvous with Robert, you cougar, but you have to take care of your children. It kills me to see marriages fall apart and how that affects the children. At least, Edna, just wait until they go off to college.

2. The Tragedy of King Lear, William Shakespeare
I absolutely did not understand this at all! Maybe it’s the lack of ability to decipher what the hell Shakespeare was trying to say. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn’t remember which was the evil bastard child, Edmund or Edgar. When I actually did figure everything out (thank you, Spark Notes), I was not happy. First off, since when is it acceptable for a father to disown his child because she doesn’t want to lie to him? Secondly, I find it seriously disturbing that King Lear decides to strip naked in a maelstrom. Just put him in the Cuckoo’s Nest (I’m so clever)! And thirdly, just deliver the letters yourself. That’s the only way to ensure your message is received. Come to think of it, I don’t really enjoy any Shakespeare.

1. The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
A story about a dude that turns into a bug. The end.
How is that supposed to be a good book? From the first sentence of the first page, it’s revealed that he turned into a bug. Where is the build up? Worst book seriously of life. That is not an exaggeration, at all. Seriously, a man turns into a bug? What a literary masterpiece…!

2. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
I didn’t even bother reading this one.

Comment below and tell me if I’m totally off my rocker or if you have any books you would like to add!

‘Twas the night before 2012…

Hopefully, my new year will be like this. (

And so my friends another year has come to an end. This means that Facebook has exploded with people’s New Year’s Resolutions. As for me, I’ll make a resolution but never actually follow through with it. Nonetheless, I’ve made a resolution this second to blog more. I wonder where the inspiration came from…

Realistically, I know for a fact that 99.9% of these “resolutions” will be abandoned within a month. So instead of making a new year’s goal, I’m just going to focus on what will actually happen this year. You know, the stuff that doesn’t depend on my will power or initiative.

This year is jam packed with milestones and memorable moments to be–some fun, some not so fun. Here is a look at my 2012.

1. Jaw Surgery, 1/26
This is one that will go under the “not so fun” category. Yes, I will be having corrective jaw surgery in which my upper and lower jaw will be broken and shifted. Ouch. Really the only good things that will come from this is that I get to miss two weeks of school (Hallelujah!),  talk lisp-free, and have a more aesthetically-pleasing profile. The bad part about this is that I’m going to have to learn AP Lit on my own, drink through a syringe, and look like the Elephant Man with Angelina-sized lips.

2. Graduation, 6/14
I’ve seriously been waiting to walk down that grass aisle since the day I wore my plaid skirt and toted my princess lunchbox to kindergarten. Being in a structured learning environment for 12 years does a lot to you. I’ve had ups, downs, and everything in between and it’s all going to end pretty soon. A part of me is like “Hell yeah, get me out of here!”, but then another part is like “Crap, this is going to be the last time I’m with all these peope at one time”. I frequently go back and forth between the two sentiments. But I cannot wait to celebrate this milestone with everyone who has made it possible.

3. College, sometime in the fall
Where ever I end up, I know it will be a good place for me. I really cannot wait to just meet new people and put so many new expieriences in my expierience basket. It’s going to be so awesome being on my own. This is my first step into the adult world and I’m excited to see what lies ahead. All while getting a solid education, of course.

4. 2012 Movies, the whole year
Emmie better buy plenty of those Costco tickets, because I will basically be living at the movie theater. So many good movies are coming out this year. There’s going to be a lot of superhero movies like with The Avengers, the Spider-Man prequel, The Dark Knight Rises. It’s been a while since I’ve heard Christian Bale’s hot, sexy Batman voice. And some book adaptations like Hunger Games and the highly anticipated (for others, not me) Breaking Dawn Part II. And I cannot forget the re-release of Titanic! Midnight premiere here I come! Another midnight premiere that I absolutely can’t miss is The Hobbit. Jeezo-peezo! I’m looking forward to that so much! And The Great Gatsby! I love me some Leo! 2012 is going to be sizzling! Im excited! This is probably the most exclamation points I’ve ever used in a paragraph!

5. The End of the World, 12/21
This is utter rubbish, but for those lunatics that think the world is going to end, I guess this is a major event. I’m including it because of all the hype surrounding it and the fact that I’m going to wake up on the 21st and be all like “What now?” People, the world is not going to end. So stop freaking out and selling your life on eBay. You will live to celebrate Christmas this year.

I’m not very superstitious, but I do have a special knack for the number 12. It’s my “lucky number”, so hopefully 2012 will bring out all the goods and shenanigans I’m hoping for. Prospectively, this year is looking pretty good, except for the surgery and all. Cheers to the New Year! 2012, here I come!

You Have to Spend Money in Order to Spend Even More Money

I know for a fact that you seniors are pulling your hair out over college applications. You are stressing about the obviously superfluous fluff in your essay. You are stressing because your counselor has still not sent in required forms to your schools. You are stressing about which extracirruclar has more meaning to an admissions counselor.

Well, here is something else to stress about: fees. Think about it. For my personal college expenses, I’m positive that I’ve spent about $750. So let’s add it up.

Alright, first up is the application fees. I’m applying to eleven schools. Emory University and Mizzou are $50. Cal Poly SLO and Cal State Long Beach are $55. UC Davis is $60. Northwestern University, USC, and American University are $65. Syracuse University and Northeastern University are $70. And last but not least is Boston University at the highest of my list with a price tag of $75. Just right here that is $680!

Next are the costs of sending my SAT scores. Since I got to send my scores to four schools for free (bless you CollegeBoard, really, bless you), I only had to pay for seven schools. The cost for sending all SAT scores and AP scores is $10. It was a total cost of $70. I’m exactly at $750.

And I cannot neglect the community college transcripts, no siree! Those costs $3 to send to universities. But since UC’s and Cal States don’t want transcripts, I only had to send out eight transcripts. Add in another $24. Oh boy, my estimation was almost perfect.

My grand total is $774! And I’m not even paying tuition yet! This is absolutely insane! I could go into how CollegeBoard is a complete scam for money, but that’s a blog for another day.

Of course, there are the “fee waivers”. But let’s get real: we all know that the middle class does not qualify for financial waivers. At all. And my family is not uber rich to the point where we can be casual about $774.

So who ends up paying this lump sum? Not me, thank God. The burden lies with my lovely parents Emmie and Chris. Aw, how much I love them! I know that paying that much is not convenient, and comes at the price of eating bologna skins and eggshells for dinner sometimes. Thanks Mom and Dad for your support!

So all you cracked out stressed seniors should stop for a moment and give your Emmie and Chris a genuine thanks. And politely remind them that they will soon be dropping a “couple” more G’s.

$#*! My Dad (and I) Says

In light of recent events, a Colvin House Swear Jar has been established. Yet, the only Colvins being taunted with this negative incentative are me–for obvious reasons–and my dad. At first, it was more for me, but then I guess my dad felt bad and didn’t want me to suffer by myself.

Mom set up the rules:
1. Each time a potty-word “slips out”, ten cents are put into the Jar
2. That especially bad word (flying…) costs double
3. The monitors are everyone except my dad and me
4. Sign language counts as well (thanks for teaching me some ASL Kiefer)

So far, I think I owe $.70, which really isn’t that bad considering that it’s been just two days. Either I’m really good at catching myself or I’m very sneaky and quiet. I think it’s a little bit of both. But everyone is convinced that I will be broke soon and I will have to start carrying around rolls of dimes. Let’s see about that!

And there could possibly be corruption within this system. By naming Jenna a monitor of my language, she could potentially wrongly accuse me of cursing out of spite. After all, she is my little bratty sister with intentions to make my life miserable and enjoying every step of it. And also, does it count if I stub my toe? Naturally, a “bad” word will come out. That’s just the way people react to sudden, earth-shattering pain.

But this is all for a good cause. We established that whomever wins, gets the prize of selecting a charity or organization to donate the money. When I win, I’m going to donate the money to Beckman’s Mock Trial fund. That way, parking fees don’t have to be paid for and they can actually get T-shirts next year. To achieve that, I will make my dad really mad, thus forcing him to deposit mula into the Jar.

But in all seriousness, I do see what my parents are trying to achieve by threatening my wealth. Choice words are not always appreciated by some and they can determine one’s opinion of me. At first, I was completely reluctant to agree to see it from their perspective. But now, not only do I understand, I will comply with what they are asking. I will never know if someone is turned off by a colorful language so it’s important to gague how others will react to it. I know everyone curses, but I guess I’m just not in the enviornment where it is accepted by all.

So for now, the objective is to tone it down a little. But don’t be surprised if I ask you for some change.

Clearly there are some things wrong with this picture. First, I know for a fact that Dad owes more than 0. Second, the Colvin House Swear Jar isn't even a jar.

The 5 things I learned from The Lord of the Rings

Sam, wanna be my best friend?

Obsessed. That is the word I would use to describe my realtionship with The Lord of the Rings. Well, the movies. I have witnessed this greatness of a trilogy several times; my favorite is The Return of the King. And through all this precious-ness, I have come to appreciate the little messages LOTR has incorporated. Thus, the things I have learned from three spectacular movies:

1. I would be lucky if Samwise Gamgee was my best friend
I hate to say that I’m jealous of that dipshit Frodo. But I am, because he has Sam. So jealous! Sam is the epitome of what a BFFL should be like. Even when Frodo was being a total bitch and told Sam to go home, Sam knew better and chose to stick around. Not only did he stick around, but he stabbed the beasty spider. He then proceeded to save that little bitch. What a great friend. And then greatest line ever: “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” God, what a supportive person! He recognizes the burden and is willing to share it. He carries Frodo on his shoulders up a steep inclined volcano. That scene continues to make me speechless

2. Never go into a dark tunnel
Never! No good can come of it! There was no light at the end of this tunnel either! Frodo was entangled and met with all sorts of nastiness. The tunnel is like the modern day white van with a male driver: you just don’t go into it.

3. It would be a good idea to learn combat
Every single character in the movie has at least one memorable scene, and all the time it involves some sort of violence with a sharp weapon. And it looks so cool! If I could weild a sword, I could do great things with it. And who knows, I could probably protect myself against that guy in the white van.

4. Everybody finds their certain someone
Eowyn was hot for Aragorn, but then she was rejected when she found out about that elf Arwen. Sorry, but Eowyn mortal being could never compete with Arwen’s flawless elf skin. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles. But then along comes Faramir! And honestly, the ginger and blonde combo looks pretty good. So, really, the day when Aragorn rejected Eowyn was the best day of her life.

5. White is the best color to wear
Forget OxyClean! Middle Earth did not need it at all because they never got dirty. Well, Gandalf never got dirty. And he wore white. All the time. Gandalf wore white during battle, while riding a horse, and while eating. And that angelic white cloth was never stained with orc blood, dirt, or crumbs.